remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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