Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
