It's like a parade of train wrecks.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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