Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Pants are for mortals
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
