3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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