found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
