If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
