sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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