Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
