I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
