Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
