so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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