you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
