Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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