people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
