i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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