we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
