Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize