i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
