Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
