I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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