I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
