First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He did a backflip because drugs
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
