Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
