when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
