Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
