god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
