am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
