I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
