She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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