I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
