If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You're a waste of cheezeits
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
