I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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