the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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