are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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