I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Send help, water and tortillas.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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