does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
