i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize