dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
