my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My liver just had a heart attack.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
