I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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