i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
