Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize