Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
