I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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