you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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