in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
