Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
