When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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