But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
and she was petting her beer can
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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