he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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