Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
