Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
