Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
