One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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