This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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