The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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