Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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