i barfeds in our rink
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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